Celebrate Celibate

Dear Mike,
My name is Cierra and I am a single mother of one daughter. I have been single since my child'support father and I decided to split. I have also decided to be practice celibacy not only because I think it's the best thing to do if I want to find 'the One' but also because I am a faithful follower of Christ! I guess my question to you is as a man do you think there is any hope for me getting married anytime soon. I know that question sounds idiotic, however, a lot of men look over me because I have a daughter and if they don't look over me once they realize I'm not giving it up that's it. I know God has someone in store for me but I am constantly looked over. I just needed a man's perspective. Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

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Dear Cierra,
Thank you for writing me. First I want to wish you Happy Mother’s Day, second I want to applaud you on your courage to live a life that follows Christ, it’s better than following some of these boys, because there is no telling where they might lead you. I also want you to understand that sometimes the decisions you make about what you’re willing to offer a man will result in some men not being interested. I know it hurts.  What you have to realize is, what you’re doing, in a time where people want instant gratification, in a time where women sleep with men for no reason at all sometimes, some men may look at you, and the price may be a little too much for them. And that’s ok. Just keep telling yourself, “if they want free, they don’t want me”  So I don’t want you to think that you are being over-looked, you’re not. People look right at you, it’s just sometimes, they don’t want to see it. They don’t want to see a woman who puts her needs in front of a man’s wants.  

You’re growing Cierra, and it is absolutely beautiful. So you just have remind yourself that as long as you are growing, you have to be ok with the fact that everyone won’t be going. As far as marriage, we are in the same boat, I wish I was married EVERYDAY. I feel like I have so many talents that are wasted. So I know exactly where you’re coming from. It feels like we are out here on the water by ourselves, and I’m pretty sure you know like I know, it gets so lonely. Now we have two options. One, we can treat this moment, where we are caught between where we are and where we want to be, like we are in a paddle boat on the open water in the middle of a storm.  Or we can treat it like it’s a cruise ship. It’s always easier to be frustrated about what you don’t have, I do it all the time. But let’s turn the tables. Let’s be excited about what you do have. You have a beautiful daughter, who has a beautiful mother, with beautiful morals, who has a beautiful relationship with God. And right now, that has to be enough.

I love you.
Mike

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