Discovering Frankie

Dear Mike,
I hope this email reaches you. My name is Franceska, but everyone calls me Frankie. I'm a 20 year old (until Dec 31) who just read 'Dear Woman' and was truly inspired. There were so many things that I could relate to, some that were warnings for me, and others that I never really thought about until I read your book.
 
Personally this came at a time in my life where I really want to make a lot of personal changes, including how I deal with relationships.
 
Although I'm only 20, I've dealt with a lot of unfortunate events that are deeper then could be explained in a brief email. I'm working towards breaking habits that were forced upon me & I really would like some of your advice.
 
Leaning to love myself is difficult but it's something I'm really working on. The patience I have with myself is very little and I'm struggling to understand myself. I would like to know from your perspective what loving yourself at this age would look like? I also identify with the woman you described as having two souls, I see myself raising a lot of the people I've been with / attracted to. Part of that are usually my friends, and I'm the best friend who shows boys to be men. What I'm finding in that is that I'm always friend zoned and I'm always fighting to be more than just a friend. Finally dating, what should I do? I've promised myself and a mentor that I wouldn't be in a committed relationship until I'm totally done with school but I don't know what to do when it comes to dating? I went on my first date at 19, and even with that things went into a different direction.
 
I know that you're busy & you're by no means my therapist, but please consider your advice as a birthday gift to help build a young lady into a woman. This would really mean a lot to me and be really helpful in my growth. I'm also willing to answer any background questions you might have to help give specific advice. Please be totally honest, it will stick with me.
 
Much love, Frankie

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Hey Frankie,
I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm glad that "Dear Woman" meant so much to you.  I put my heart into that book. I'm also glad that you are taking the steps to love yourself first.  You will find that once you do this, the rest of you life will be a lot easier to live. Once you find out who Frankie is, you will also  understand who you aren't. This goes a long way in trying to figure out who your friends are. You will never be able to tell who is for you or who is against you, until you know who you are.

Loving yourself at 21 looks like fun. It looks like Discovering Frankie.  It looks finding new restaurants, new nightclubs, new museums, in new cities, states, and  countries around the world. Its laying down the foundation for how people are supposed to treat you, and how they are supposed to love you.  First you must discover what makes you happy, what makes you happier, and also what makes you not so happy.  This is a treasure hunt for the jewels to your crown.  Happy hunting, and let me know what you come up with,

Peace and Love Queen.
Mike

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