I am writing you to see if you could give me advice.
I've known the father of my son for about 7 years. We have been in a rocky relationship since day (one). On and off a lot and he ended up having two children on me. My son is only one year old and his youngest child is only a few months younger then our son.
I care for him a lot, but not sure if it's love still. I am a great woman to him. I never cheated on him or had any other man in my life besides him. I provide for him like any woman should and I ask for nothing but respect and attention in return. He claims to want to be with me and marry me but he can't even tell his baby mom that he wants to settle down with me.
I know it sounds crazy and to be honest, I know the answer to all of this but for some reason I can't let go for good, as if there was something keeping me by his side. In those off times, I am still handing a helping hand with whatever the problem may be at the time.
His whole family loves me and we are very close. He don't seem to realize what he has in front of him (me) and I know his taking me for granted and I'm tired of it.
I need advice from a male perspective. What can I do to either make him realize how good of a woman he has or get him out of my life.
Anything you have to say will help me.
Thank you, Jen!
Thank you for writing me. Congratulations on the birth of your baby. Hopefully you son is happy and healthy.
First things first, the most important person in your life now is that baby. And you have to start making decisions for yourself that will be in the best interest of the both of you. This means keeping mommy around positive vibes only. I know you probably already know that, but it is always good to remind you. =)
I noticed in the beginning of your letter that you said you weren't sure if it was love or not. I've been there too. What I learned was that I can have a whole lot of love for people I could never see myself with again. And it is not about me hating them, its not about having somebody new, its about Justice. The definition is: just behavior or treatment.Meaning treating yourself right, it means doing what is right for yourself, if it it means being by yourself. Sometimes this is hard thing to do when it forces you to remove some people from your life that you thought were going to be around forever. But just like victims of robberies and assaults deserve Justice, so do good people. So get your justice. And you cant worry about who wants to stay, or who wants to go. Its about you. For once, just your feelings, your expectations, your happiness. If you always put that first, you will begin to stop worrying about who is for you, who is against you, and who wants to walk with you, because you will already have the most important person on this journey. I wish i could tell what you could do to get him to realize how amazing you are. But i cant. All that i can say is that when things don't add up, may the first thing subtract be yourself.
Take care queen.